So today the BO and her daughter approached me together and told me there was something they needed to talk to me about. Hrm...
So they weren't happy about the boarder donating food, or me buying food and letting the boarder feed Solomon. They said it was barn politics and it would cause trouble, etc. They asked me to go through them if I wanted to give extra food, etc. They acted happy when said boarder fed him yesterday- I know becasue she called me. Hrm.
I am really, from talking to the boarders and some sort of vibe I get off the BO, getting the feeling that there's something a little sketchy happening. BO said Solomon was R___'s (her boyfriend's) horse and that people would start talking and saying they didn't do what they were supposed to be doing with the horses, and that it would end up causing drama. I asked if Solomon was really a rescue horse, and they said yes, R___ rescued him from a Mexican rodeo.
But that doesn't really tell me if he's a part of the rescue or if he's more privately owned? They DO have nonprofit status and they do still say I can sponsor hima nd have him be mine one day a week, so I'm feeling a little lost here.
They kept saying "you're not upset are you? We don't want to upset you, we're not mad, you didn't know," etc etc... Which kind of made me think "hm, SHOULD I be upset?"
They're obviously in financial distress, the place is falling apart and there are hungry horses that need to put on some weight, but they don't want boarders volunteering or helping out with the rescue horses? And I've heard rumors that food for one horse will end up getting fed to the other horses. Well, I'm for all of the rescues getting the food they need, but this worries me a bit. What do you think?
Solomon was oblivious to all of this, of course. I found myself envying him just a little bit. I washed him today, with shampoo and conditioner and all that, and he was shiny and sparkly. He got pissed off because I got his next wet, but he got over it. When I left he was looking quite nice, and a little fatter. He is probably rolling in his stall as I type, but ah well.
So anyway, yeah. Feeling a little torn and nervous about this.
On the other hand, I get to play with a horse, and they let me ride one of the other horses once in a while for free. I'm getting experience and one animal's life is brighter. So there's that.
But what do you think?
4 comments:
Hmmmmmm........... I agree that something does not add up. I would just kinda fly under the radar and see what transpires. No more $$$ outlay, just go brush, walk and wash Sol until you figure it out. I am really curious about what the big deal about fixing his stall door. Why can't they just fix it? Heck, I live alone and repair stuff all the time.
I've been feeling so anxious and heartbroken today. Why do people have to be all... I don't know. Whatever happened to pure intentions? I'm not perfect, I'm not saying that, it's just that... dammitt every time I go out and find someplace I might feel safe at, where maybe I can look at the surface and people's intentions are clear and stay true, when I start to look deeper and see more...
I've taken my ambien and I may not make sense. It does that- it even makes you dream whether you are awake or asleep. Also it makes me ramble.
But the thing is, I just want to do this for the horses, and for me. Nurturing animals does help me. It cuts down on the flashbacks. It cuts down on the anxiety and fear. PTSD sucks but I don't want to let it consume my life, and I don't want to be a useless person with no purpose. I love animals, I love horses and sometimes I am ashamed to call myself human when I see the things people do. I'd really hoped to find someplace safe where I could help horses live better lives.
And now I'm worried that drama and politics will shatter that.
And through all of it, Sol and the others can't do anything about it. They can't get a job and buy more food, or fix their home, or choose to move. They depend on people. They can't control whether I come or go, or who feeds them what, anything.
Ugh, the sleeping meds are kicking in and I'm probably being too openly emotional and rambly here, I apologize.
Okay, it is all a learning experience. This might not be the place for you, but in the meantime, you take advantage and learn everything you can. You have no control over human behavior so buck up and remember why you decided to pursue this. IMO- I would just hang out and play. You have to remember that these horses may not have the most perfect home, but they do have a home with good intentions. They are no longer at risk. This is your Horses 101 and is preparing you for more work with other horses. Now that you are comfortable with Sol- branch out. You have proved a big point, now move forward.
Yar, you are right, you are totally right.
Post a Comment